Well, that title could start almost any post about ESPN, a once-proud network dedicated to true fans that is now nothing more than a Disney-run hype machine with minimal credible programming.

I could spend some time talking about what the hell Michael Irvin was wearing as a tie on Monday Night Countdown. But, really, it's Irvin. The guy gets busted with a crack pipe in his car and is clearly under the influence of something (likely crack) and he doesn't miss a day of work so he could show up wearing anything and nobody would call him on it.

No, in this particular instance, I'm interested in the absolutely ridiculous, inane, spectacularly unfunny, borderline racist, confusing, hideous opening that ESPN ran before this week's Monday Night Football game, wherein an ugly old fart playing cards bashes the teams playing in the game, referring to them as girls, calling Carson Palmer "blondie," Peyton the "golden boy," telling Chad Johnson that "ocho cinqo" rhymes with "stink-o" (wow, clever writing... and timely, too!), and mocking TJ Houshmandzadeh's name in a manner that, as I said, was borderline racist. Watch for yourself and tell me what you think.



No, I'm not one of those people who cries racism or inappropriateness whenever someone says or does something slightly controversial. We're way too PC of a society and everyone is always offended about something. No, I'm taking ESPN to task more for the fact that this drivel makes it onto a prime time national broadcast. This is your opening, ESPN? This is the best you can come up with you open a football game between two immensely popular teams? To have an old fart mocking them while he and his fat, difficult-to-look-at buddies play cards and talk about ordering a pizza?

I don't get it. It's not funny, it's not clever and it's just not.... good.